A gift for you from the Other Side (a.k.a. I can’t believe I’m doing this)

Liv with pic of Nana

Yesterday, I got a visit from my Nana. And then she brought some of your loved ones over, too. It was a day, from start to finish, of appearances and sacred signs that made my heart absolutely race. And that’s really saying something, since I’m pretty used to engaging with the Great Beyond. Let me give you the highlights because there’s a gift in it all for you.

Nana passed away nearly a year and a half ago, but when she was alive, she knew I could see and hear spirits and angels. She assured me multiple times that she’d be popping in, sending signs, and whispering in my ear (i.e. bossing me around!) once she was in Heaven. We had some good laughs – and shed a few tears – about that future reality. But after her passing, I didn’t hear much from her – up until these past few weeks (maybe you saw my Christmas tree story, for instance). It’s like she was picking up steam, gaining the energy and know-how to get through to me in a major way.

A Vivid Dream

Several days ago, I started noticing “spirit chatter” swirling around me, like the faded din of a busy restaurant. I was too busy to get still and tune in, so the spirits found another way to get my attention (they’re sneaky like that!). On Monday night, Nana came to me in a dream – so vivid and real that I was surpised the next morning when I woke up in my bed! In the dream, as I shared on social media, Nana and I were with old friends and dear family, sitting next to each other, having a marvelous time. Everyone was laughing, loving, reminiscing. And then I realized I was the only one who could see her. They weren’t talking to her…they were talking ABOUT her. I couldn’t believe they were missing her being right there!

Don’t forget – you see and hear what others can’t, Nana reminded me. And then she asked that I use that gift to let more people know their loved ones are near…they’re sitting at the restaurant with them, riding in the carpool with them, dancing in the living room with them. Oh! Mission accomplished, I told her. I’ll be teaching that soon! But she already seemed very aware of my recent decision to devote the next year of my online class, Project Light Year, to helping participants deepen their awareness of and connection to spirits and angels.

There’s more to share than you think and more people to reach, Nana said – but I didn’t quite understand. She then demonstrated some of the amazing ways she’s learned to play with time and space – and then I woke up, surprised to be in my bed since I could have sworn I’d just been in a restaurant with Nana.

A Crowded Room

Our interaction had been incredibly vivid and stayed with me into my waking hours, which is how I know Nana was really with me. But I didn’t know how to address the things she’d requested and shown me, so I set them aside and went on with my day. Until, that is, she showed up again. Not in dream form, but standing in my bedroom when I walked in. And this time, she brought a roomful of moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, children and pets all in spirit form, to back her up. Whoa.

Nana is a social butterfly, so I’m not surprised that she’s already made countless friends over there! She asked me to please listen to them. One man who died in his 50s told me his family tends to doubt or miss the signs he leaves for them. A mother who passed in her 70s showed me “all the pretty birds” she’d like to send if only her daughter would open the window blinds. A yellow lab ran circles around a sleeping baby, proud to be watching over the new arrival. A little boy wanted his family to know – and laugh about – all the funny pranks he’s been playing on them. My heart was racing as they each chimed in about the loved ones they’d love to re-establish an connection with, in a new and wondrous way. “You can help show them we’re right here,” one man said, and my heart sank a bit.

“I don’t have a way to find them for you,” I told the roomful of spirits. “You’d have to bring them to me, nudge them to find the class.”

Nana stepped up then and said lovingly, “We have – but some people can’t afford it, Liv-er. And we need to reach them, too.” Nana always did love a bargain – almost as much as being overly kind to total strangers. So I started to negotiate with the hopeful group of strangers in my room (ha, that sounds so crazy!). I ran through the numbers in my head, worried I’d lose money or send the wrong message about the course’s value. But they didn’t care for any of my discount suggestions – or my irrational fears.

I then heard someone in the crowd say, “You have to let them choose the price.” And the room filled with shouts of support. Wait, what? Choose their own price? For a full year of inspiration and connection? That suggestion sounded totally ridiculous (this is my livelihood, after all). But that idea also sounded beautifully, inexplicably right. If you do this, word will get around to all the right folks, another spirit said. Looking at all those loved ones gathered, eager to let their people know they’re okay and still around, I got all choked up. How could I say no?

By then, it was time to pick up my oldest at school. I almost missed my turn, I was so distracted thinking about how I’d make it work! There would be lots of administrative hoops to jump through; I knew I’d need to bring Jill, Happiness Manager for my biz, up to speed. As soon as we got back home, I pulled my phone out of my coat pocket and found that it was already calling Jill. I quickly ended the call before she answered – not even sure how to describe yet what was going on and what we needed to do. But it was crystal clear that Nana & Company wanted to get the ball rolling!

A Gift from the Other Side

The truth is, on paper, this makes no sense for my business – offering a whole year of content at an undetermined price, only days before class begins. But in my heart, I know none of that matters. I can feel the vibration of this request from on-high pulsing through me. I am choosing to trust it will all balance out, that the perfect people will be called to it, that an army of angels has my back. So here we go…

The regular price and our 12-month payment plan are still available – but now you’ll find there is a Pay-What-You-Can option for the 2016 edition of Project Light Year, which kicks off next Monday (1/11). Read about the class and community, then notice if your heart feels pulled to be part of it. If it does, scroll down to the Pay-What-You Can option and change the default amount – currently $1.00 – to the price that feels doable and perfect for you. All I ask is that you come to this experience with an open mind, an open heart, a grateful spirit and deep compassion for the tribe you’re becoming part of.

heaven - pay what you can

If you already signed up to be part of Project Light Year 2016, I want to be fair to all of you dear hearts. So watch for an email in your inboxes, giving you the opportunity to request a partial refund if the class fee you paid stretched you too thin.

Whenever I quiet my fears, whenever I calm my ego, whenever I listen to divine visitors and celestial whispers, amazing things unfold. I have no doubt this will be the case again. There are things I will be sharing that I don’t even know yet. There are people I’ll be meeting who will be blessings in my life. There will be stories and connections that will fill me up with glee. 2016 will be a year of pure magic and it’s only just begun.

a letter to my dad…and his last words to me

dear dad,

my heart feels both completely broken and surprisingly full today, treading water in an ocean of grief and gratitude.

it seems impossible that a whole year has passed since you slipped away on this day, a little after noon. we were not ready; not that anyone ever is. but we thought you were beating the cancer. you thought you were beating the cancer. remember weeks before, how we’d toasted with champagne? we giggled with glee for the changing tides, for the good fortune of improving health.

and then, a plot twist: an infection from surgery worked its way into your blood stream and pulled you from our grip. just like that.

one year ago still feels like yesterday.

sometimes i still cry. big, heaving sobs with crocodile tears for dreams we lost, for the laughter i miss, for my papa-less boys, for mom’s broken heart, for words i forgot to say. people see us all looking happy, acting normal and they say “thank goodness the worst is over, thank goodness you’ve moved on, thank goodness you’re happy again.” and that is all truth, but so is the lingering, gut-wrenching grief. there’s joy and pain co-existing in this new normal. i need to honor both.

i find such comfort in the last words i heard you say, from your soul to mine, in the deep of the night. mom and kai and i slept in the hospital room, next to the bed where your tired body slept. we wanted to be rested for when you woke up. the nurses put a twin mattress on the floor, where mom and i smooshed together like sardines to catch some z’s, as you would say. i was startled awake by a hand on my right shoulder, an arm around my back. the same one that had wrapped itself around me all my life; there was no mistaking it was yours. you were still in bed, yet also with me; i had no time to make sense of it. it felt like my shoulders and back were on fire, the heat from your arm – or your spirit – was so intense. and then i heard your voice in my ear, clear as a bell, say those words i will never forget:

“i’m so sorry, liv-er. but i guess i have to go. they say i have big work to do.” 

mom suddenly sat straight up on the mattress, startled awake too, asking what had just happened. we all rushed to your bedside; you didn’t respond to our voices, our touch, our forehead kisses. maybe you were already moving to the other side before your body gave out a few hours later.

oh, dad. knowing that your spirit could catch up with mine in the still of the night fills my heart with gratitude and awe.  thank you for that one last reminder: that our connection has no limitations, physical or otherwise. i miss you with all my heart, and yet i know, really know, you are right here. hand on my shoulder. arm around my back. wrapping me in love and gently guiding, as always.  for always.

i love you this big. {arms outstretched}

your rainbow girl