cruising past the big kids: inside my life as a fly girl

Spread your wings and #fly | LivLane.com

When I was a little girl, I could fly.

I’m not talking about the times my dad would lift me in the air and twirl me above the crowd, nor about my great big imagination carrying me off to faraway places.

I’m telling you heart-to-heart, hand-to-God: I flew. I realize it sounds preposterous, impossible. I don’t understand it myself, but have such vivid memories of it that I’ve never doubted it. And that’s saying something, because I’ve doubted a lot about my lifetime of paranormal, hard-to-believe experiences.

I can still feel myself, primarily while I was four- to eight-years-old, sitting on the front step of my childhood home, frequently aware of otherworldly beings in my midst – loving protectors, ethereal guardians. They kept me company, made me feel safe and sometimes, on my favorite days, they helped me fly. Only up and down the sidewalk of our tree-lined avenue, mind you; they were very respectful of my parents’ rules – no leaving our side of the street! 

All I had to do was move my arms like I was swimming the breaststroke to pull my body forward. I could see the sidewalk three or four feet beneath me as I’d make my way up and down the block. It was the most incredible feeling; I was absolutely giddy, my whole body buzzing with glee and awe. Were they out-of-body experiences? Astral travel? Lucid dreams? I have no idea. They felt real – and they still do, all these years later.

The last time I remember it happening, I reached the end of our block and looked across the street to see a bunch of the cool neighbor boys driving their Big Wheels and bikes in circles on a driveway. One stopped cold and looked straight at me. I felt instant panic, my feet fell to the sidewalk and I ran home. I remember how heavy my body felt as I ran down the block, and how my heart ached, unsure what he saw but sensing that I’d done something wrong or abnormal – and that he might tell others. That fear kept me from flying again – literally and metaphorically.

Heart - Born to Fly on Swing hi-resI clipped my wings, so to speak; dimmed my light. I was very cautious about whom I shared my not-so-normal experiences with, growing quieter as the years passed. But I never forgot the flying.

Over the past few years, I slowly came back into my own, embracing and sharing the gifts of my intuition and connection with the Great Beyond. The past year has been particularly big on that front; I started 2013 by choosing THRIVE as my word of the year, feeling ready to bloom in new ways. But I had no idea how transparent I’d actually become about this deeper awareness.

Has it been scary? Absolutely. Has it been worth it? Without a doubt. For the first time in decades, I feel like I’m taking flight again. I have no plans to zoom down the block anytime soon (ha!), but I want to keep close the complete joy and fearlessness that felt so natural all those years ago.

So, it seems only fitting that my word of 2014 – the one that will guide me in my decisions and attitude this year – is FLY. I want to feel free, uninhibited, and filled to the brim with amazement for where I’m going, and the support I have to get me there. No more worrying about the big kids telling on me; I’ve got nothing left to hide. Ready, set, fly.

 __________________________

Want to fly with me this year? I’d love it! Here are some fun ways to stay connected in 2014…

Did you choose a word of the year for 2014? I’d love to hear it and what motivated you to choose it. Wishing you a brilliantly light-filled year, dear ones.

The Sixth Sense: There’s Something I Need To Tell You

growing up highly intuitive

Dear Ones,

I’ve been playing a game of tug-of-war with myself lately, toying with the idea of revealing a deeper truth here. Super scary. But last night, I got a little message that gave me a surge of confidence (you know how I love a good sign!).

I was putting the finishing touches on a new offering – but I was holding back on making it as good as it could be. I went into the dudio to grab some notes from a recent talk I attended and, as I grabbed the stack of paper, out fell a tiny hotel notepad with my handwriting on it. To my surprise, it was filled with notes from a Hay House conference I attended in 2007 – specifically, a session featuring author and psychic Colette Baron Reid.

I don’t remember that session being particularly meaningful to me back then; I’m surprised I still have the notes. And why a pad of paper from 2007 would be stuck in a stack of current papers is a mystery to me – so I knew it was important to pay attention. Hello, serendipity. I read through my scribbles on the first two pages – insights from Colette about intuition and psychic awareness. And then at the bottom of the second page I saw these words:

Telling your story makes you powerful. 

 

Ohhh, snap. I don’t know how many times I’ve said something along those lines in my own classes and sessions! So, that little mystery notepad gave me a taste of my own medicine (and a kick in the pants from Colette!) when I needed it most, particularly around revealing details around my own intuition and psychic awareness. Gulp.

Over the past year, I’ve focused more of my energy on helping entrepreneurs boost their confidence around self-promotion and meaningful marketing – from creating new content to doing one-on-one Star Mapping Sessions. It’s been nice leveraging my background to help blooming businesswomen find the confidence and tools they need to build awareness. But I think I’ve been trying to hide a little behind that expertise – and it’s not working. Time and time again, the positive feedback I get from those who are most impacted by our one-on-one sessions (and even the classes I teach) is not as much in praise of my expertise…but in awe of what I know.

No matter how much I try to tone it down or hold information back, there’s an inner knowing that has grown too strong to keep under wraps. Over the years, I’ve written and spoken rather generically about the importance of our intuition – we all have it, we all need it, we must trust it. I’ve shared magical stories of my kids’ apparent connection to the great beyond, about undeniable signs from the Universe, about awe-inspiring synchronicity in my life.

What I haven’t shared publicly is the extent of my own life-long intuition. I haven’t shared how I feel people’s illnesses or challenges or stuckness. How I hear wisdom that comes from beyond me, outside of me. How I see angels…and spirit guides…and, yes, I see dead people. (Cold sweat. That one was the hardest to admit to you.)

It has always been this way, even as a child. I found ways to shut it off as I got older, especially when I worked in corporate America. But it came rushing back in after I had kids – and it’s grown more intense since my own dad died in 2011.  The number of friends and family who know all of this about me is pretty small. Some have experienced crazy, woo-woo spiritual stuff with me. Some have had readings with me. Some have figured it out and flat-out asked. I get choked up thinking about how they have all held my secret, honored my requests not to tell others about this piece of me until I was ready.

Meanwhile, I feel bad that in all these years of talking about the importance of authenticity and vulnerability, I have kept this from the rest of you. I worried you’d run for the hills. I worried you’d think I was making it up. I worried certain friends and extended family might back away. And these all remain very real, lump-in-my-throat concerns. But I cannot, in good conscience, continue to speak and write about tapping into your inner sparks while keeping one of my own gifts under wraps.

Firecracker Calls with Liv Lane

Last night, finding that notepad from the event with Colette Baron Reid felt perfectly orchestrated. I was putting the finishing touches on the web page for new one-on-one client sessions called Firecracker Calls and was describing them as one part pump-you-up pep-talk, one part idea-infusion, one part intuitive reading. And I was soooo close to pulling the intuitive reading wording right out of the description. Tempted to just stay in hiding a while longer. I could keeping using my intuition…leaning on my posse of invisible advisors…and just not tell people, right? Right. Except I was starting to feel like a fraud.

And that timely reminder in those notes from the past – telling your story makes you powerful – was a bit of synchronicity I couldn’t ignore. I’d been feeling pulled to share this piece of my story, but resisting it out of fear. Finally putting it out there feels freeing…feels right…feels like I can really be me with all of you. Don’t expect any major changes; you won’t suddenly find me wearing flowing gowns or working out of a carnival tent! The biggest shift, I guess, is that this frees me to do my best work – leveraging all of me, out in the open, using the gifts I was given to facilitate healing, cultivate hope and offer inspiration.

Love + light,

liv lane