Walk This Way: The Little Bliss List

April 27, 2012 By 9 Comments

Every Friday, the Little Bliss List provides a chance for us to celebrate the little things that brought us hope and happiness this week. I do believe when we focus on the sweet stuff of life, the sweet stuff multiplies. And by sharing those small gifts in our lives, we help others notice the gifts in theirs. 

What a week! It’s been filled with lots of milestones and meaningful moments. Over and over, I had to stop to catch my breath. Here are the highlights…

1) I’ve had multiple chances to reconnect with old friends this past week – some whom I hadn’t seen in nearly 20 years – and got to see a couple of my dearest friends. I go through some busy weeks without seeing any of my friends, new or old, so I’ve felt particularly blessed to be in the company of so many people I care so much about.

2) You guys! Today is Truman’s last day of being three. And oh, how I’ve loved the sweetness and innocence of this year. That little boy is just a bundle of bliss – happiness personified. Though I’m sad to see the innocence and sweetness of three go, I’m excited to see what wonderful things four brings.

3) I gave a tribute speech about my dad at a celebration event for Children First, a cause near and dear to both of us. It was hard. And it was important. And it was an honor to do.

4) I went on a mini shopping spree. You know how amazing it feels when you walk into a dressing room and most of the stuff you picked actually fits? AND many of the pieces are on sale?? That’s not just blissful – that’s a miracle!

5) Working in a newly organized workspace has been soooo wonderful. The energy shift in there is amazing, now that I actually know where everything is!

So, did you follow your bliss this week – or maybe run right into it? I want to know! Share your own bliss list in the comment section or via your own blog – and please visit others who post their bliss here {just click on their photos below}! You can participate in the link party below through Sunday at midnight central.

{Wanna share some badge bling? Click here to get yours!} 

Filed Under: Bliss List

Inadequate Mommy Syndrome {I’ve Got It Bad}

April 26, 2012 By 16 Comments

When I was growing up, playing house was so borrrrring to me. I wanted to play “office” or “store’ or write musicals. But sitting around with my friends talking about our baby dolls? That made no sense to me. I’ve been thinking about this lately because I’m suffering a little from what I call IMS – Inadequate Mommy Syndrome. See, I still feel like I’m 10 sometimes, totally unsure about how to play house and bond with other girls over our kids.

This morning, as I was dropping Tru off at preschool {and apologizing to his teachers for completely forgetting his backpack, containing his essential snack and pull-ups}, I noticed three super-cute mommies in their darling outfits chirping hellos and describing their days to each other. I knew none of their names…or which kids belonged to them. I realized they were also happily putting kites in a box by the kids’ cubbies and I vaguely remembered a note – stuck in the forgotten backpack – about donating kites to the classroom for some event by some date. Damn.

I drove away in my minivan {at least I got that part right}, imagining them all gleefully shadowing their preschoolers next week during See How We’ve Grown Day, which I can’t attend because it’s Business Trip Day for me. My mind started racing as I pulled out of the parking lot. What if I can’t find someone to take my place? What if Tru feels abandoned? What if the cute and friendly mommies think I’m a mean and shitty mommy?

I know this path to crazytown like the back of my hand. I’ve traveled it countless times since first becoming a mom nine years ago. And, by now, I know I’m not alone – other moms fall into these rabbit holes, too. Nevertheless, it feels agonizingly lonely. So, my back pockets are filled with gentle reminders from wise ones to get me through these valleys.

Byron Katie reminds me that what other people think of me is none of my business. Yes! Thank you.

Anne Lamott tells me this is one thing they forget to mention in most child-rearing books, that at times you will just lose your mind. Yes! Thank you.

And Erma Bombeck says before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you. Yes! Thank you.

That wisdom helps me shift gears, helps me clear the crap off my personal windshield and see myself clearly again – as a mama who’s doing the best she can. For me, the solution to this angst is not to throw a mommy tea party with the wedding china we’ve never used – nor is it to give up and go fly a kite. The best response to this inner mama mayhem is to force myself to look at what’s going right; to have my own See How We’ve Grown Day. I forget sometimes {okay, most of the time} to reflect on how my kids are thriving, to recognize ways I’m thriving, to confide in the friends I already trust and adore, and to pat myself on the back for the ways I am present for these boys of mine.

Got other tricks and wisdom in your back pockets? Do tell!

 

 

Filed Under: Parenting

Clearing The Clutter, Living The Dream

April 25, 2012 By 3 Comments

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a thing of beauty: a drawer perfectly organized with my cards. I hyperventilate a little just looking at it. That’s how great it feels. After several days of massive decluttering and reorganization, there are drawers for cards, for magnets, for cellophane bags, for envelopes, for bubble wrap. There are hanging files for order forms, receipts, research. And binders with hole-punched notes, vendor info, design drafts. This is the most buttoned-up I’ve felt since becoming my own boss five years ago.

Wondering what the heck took so long?

 

Well, the truth is that even though I left my full-time corporate gig in 2007, I didn’t totally leave corporate work behind – nor the feeling of working for someone else. See, I was able to leave my job knowing I could count on steady income from my freelance copy writing work. It wasn’t what I loved to do, but I was good at it – and it paid well. Seemed perfect: I could pursue my creative passions and grow my own brand while relying on the money I made for writing about stuff I didn’t care about. Like disinfectant wipes. And canned soup. And toilet paper.

Having that work and money to fall back on was a huge comfort. But it also turned into a huge crutch, all but dousing the entrepreneurial fire in my belly. At first, the work felt creative enough. {Hey, you try to make toilet paper sound lovely!} But as the years flew by and more writing assignments rolled in, those gigs took priority over my own projects and passions.

When people would ask me what I did for a living, the true answer – “copywriting for big brands” – made me cringe. My other creative endeavors – blogging, art, speaking – felt like floundering side businesses since my livelihood depended on my freelance writing. It was a constant tug of war between have-to-do and love-to-do.

Heading into 2010, I started to flirt with a new – or maybe enhanced – dream. I found evidence of it as I decluttered my dudio this past weekend: I came upon a worksheet I filled out during a meeting with my Intention Circle in 2010. It asked me to name a secret wish and here’s what I wrote:

To make enough money with my own creative work that I could leave my writing clients behind.

I realize now that the simple act of writing down that dream helped me transform it from a wish into a goal. Soon after, I began to make business decisions with that goal in mind. I gave myself permission to say “no” to certain writing assignments if one of my own creative projects or work I felt particularly passionate about required my full attention. Pursuing my own loves and building my own brand no longer felt like a luxury, but a necessity.

It took time, hard work and discipline {and, honestly, a few bounced checks}, but eventually I began to see results – a turning of the tides. A little over a year after I wrote that secret wish, it came true. But things have been so crazy-busy, that I didn’t even realize it until stumbling upon that old worksheet. I love how that reminder found its way to me as I cleaned out the clutter and cleared the way for new ideas and new “wishes” I’ve already written down. Now for the fun part: making them come true.

 

 

 

Filed Under: entrepreneurship, Follow Your Heart, Growth

Something Awesome…

April 23, 2012 By 10 Comments

A woman I know is about to take a Caribbean vacation with her husband – their first tropical trip in ages and one they’ve been planning for a year. When she explained to me where they were going and how they’d get there, I told her I’ve never been but have heard the area is beautiful.

“You’ll have such a great time,” I told her.

“Well…we’ll see,” she responded, with doubt in her voice.

When I asked about her hesitancy, she launched into a story about their last family trip to a tropical destination – over 15 years ago. The airline went on strike and their family got stranded at an airport for eight hours, causing them to miss a full day of beach time. When she wrote a letter of complaint, the airline sent her a voucher for a free plane ticket; she was so mad about the incident that she sent the free ticket back, swearing to never fly with them again.

Now, nearly two decades later, that experience still weighs heavy on her mind and clouds her expectations for having a stress-free trip. With that mindset going in, she’s setting herself up for failure – sure to notice every error or slip-up, and potentially missing all the goodness in her midst. I encouraged her to expect something different, to trust that some kind of wonderful is waiting for her in paradise.

We can all relate to her, right? We all let experiences from our past dictate our expectations for the future. We think that setting ourselves up for disappointment will make it less heartbreaking when something goes awry. And, if it does, then we’re disappointed that we still feel the full brunt of our disappointment. Spending that energy expecting the worst and worrying about all that could go wrong does no good.

When you expect awesomeness {imagine it, feel it, believe it}, that positive energy fuels you, giving you the strength you need to breeze through little disappointments. You might even enjoy the detours. I have seen evidence time and time again that good things don’t just come to those who wait; good things come to those who expect good things.

Filed Under: Power of Intention, Trust

Climb On Board the Bliss Bus! {The Little Bliss List}

April 20, 2012 By 13 Comments

Every Friday, the Little Bliss List provides a chance for us to celebrate the little things that brought us hope and happiness this week. I do believe when we focus on the sweet stuff of life, the sweet stuff multiplies. And by sharing those small gifts in our lives, we help others notice the gifts in theirs. 

This has been a rather miraculous week for me, full of private spiritual nudges delivered on angels’ wings. Sprinkled in were many beautiful moments I’d love to share with you. But first, can I just tell you how honored I am that you care enough to read about those moments?? Thank you for that!

1) Re-launching my Etsy shop with cards and gifts from my soul to yours has been such a delight! I’m grateful for your generous support, from purchases to sharing the shop with your friends {like this!}. So kind!!


2) ”Climb aboard!” Yesterday was a big day around here because Tru rode the bus home from preschool for the first time! We were reticent – I mean, he’s still such a little guy – and I was a ball of nerves, but he loved it; so excited, in fact, that he did NOT even want to get off the bus! His teacher sent us this adorable video of him before the bus ride; thought it would put a smile on your face, too!

3) My mom and I went out for a spontaneous, late night drink on Tuesday. It was such a special, sweet outing with equal parts crocodile tears and belly laughs.

4) I have just loved our bed this week. Listening to raindrops outside our window, warming up under a pile of blankets, feeling my tired body sink into the mattress, listening to my own breath as I fall asleep. Yeah, that.

5) Last night, Ryder interrupted a conversation Brad and I were having just to point out the beauty of the sunset in our backyard: “Look you guys! It’s so pretty.” The BEST kind of interruption!

So, how did bliss swoop into your lives this past week? Share your own bliss list in the comment section or via your own blog – and please visit others who post their bliss here {just click on their photos below}! You can participate in the link party below through Sunday at midnight central.

{Wanna share some badge bling? Click here to get yours!} 

 

Filed Under: Bliss List

The Psychic Reading That Blew My Mind

April 17, 2012 By 8 Comments

I believe we were all born intuitive beings, given a precious gift that allows us to tap into our own destiny and connect with signs from the great beyond. But that precious gift is hard to protect and easy to ignore, given all the distractions of daily life. Here’s a glimpse into my path, in hopes it helps shine a light on yours.

I was a highly intuitive child.

 

I think all kids are so perceptive, but the lucky ones – like me – have parents who lovingly support vs. deny their ability to see and sense invisible forces within them and around them. I felt things, saw things and knew things no one could explain. But as I grew up and grew busy, that inner knowing took a backseat to everything else and my trust in it dimmed. My intuition did not go away; it just got buried under busywork.

There were times in my young adult life when I heard it – that still, small voice coming through loud and clear – and I had to choose whether to trust it or ignore it. And you know what? Whenever I chose to follow my heart, it proved to be right. But it was such a struggle to trust that inner wisdom.

 

I gave more power to the voices in my head than the one whispering from my heart.

 

Then, in my early 30s, a couple of things happened that allowed my intuition to seep through the cracks and bubble up to the surface:

1) My healing journey through PTSD and depression invited me to reflect and be still. Good God, it’s amazing what you hear when you just get quiet.

2) After years of feeling trapped in beige cubicles and black blazers, I began to move into my own light, flirting with the possibility of doing what I love and truly loving what I do.

Both of those spirit-shifting transitions, which unsurprisingly overlapped each other, woke my intuition from its slumber. And it didn’t just roll out of bed.

 

My intuition leaped back into my daily life, wide-eyed and ready to rock.

 

At first, it scared the crap out of me; I was so out of practice at listening to my soul’s voice blended perfectly with God’s voice. But it just came rushing in – like it often did when I was a kid. I started to hear words seconds before they came out of people’s mouths. I’d “imagine” things and then they’d happen the next day – or next hour – or next moment. I’d accidentally pick up on the energy of people around me, literally feeling how others felt {so exhausting!}. It was cosmic information overload.

In 2006, I enrolled in an intensive course on intuition. I’d spend the week all buttoned-up at my corporate job, then secretly spend weekends with a bunch of psychics-in-training, hoping to get a handle on what was happening to me. I devoured books about intuition and intention, I meditated lots, I learned to clear myself and ground myself, and eventually I grew more grateful than fearful of this gift.

Later that year, I couldn’t shake the sense I needed to leave my job and set out on my own. So, I booked a reading with a professional psychic who’s since become a dear friend. I had booked readings several times in the past regarding big decisions and had always felt electrified by them; the otherworldly information and advice often blew my mind. But this time, it was different: everything she said, I already knew. Our session was actually…boring. Because I’d become so in tune with my own emotional compass and inner wisdom, nothing she reported was a revelation –  but rather confirmation of what I already knew.

That reading blew my mind in a new way, proving to me I wasn’t just imagining things but was intuitively in sync with my past, present and future. That’s when I really began to make life choices based on what my heart told me. The results were amazing. And I can tell you now that had I not trusted my intuition back then, the most wonderful things about my life today likely wouldn’t exist.

So, why share all of this? Because I want you to know the other GIANT TRUTH I’ve realized during this journey:

 

We all have psychic superpowers.

 

The more I studied intuition and noticed its presence in the lives of others {including SO MANY famous folks who credit their success to their keen instincts}, the more I realized it’s not a gift that’s only offered to a select batch of lucky folks.  Everybody gets their own crystal ball – like a little welcome gift upon your earthly arrival!

Throughout your life, even when you think your crystal ball is nowhere to be found, it’s peeking out from the corners of your life – trying to get noticed. Ever thought of an old friend and then, hours later, run into her for the first time in years? Ever been dealt a low-blow and told people you just knew it was coming? Ever felt a deep sense of peace come over you about a tough decision? Hello, intuition! Those crystal ball moments are your psychic superpowers at play.

Don’t let them gather dust on your soul’s woulda-coulda-shoulda shelf. Open up that gift – play with it, cherish it, protect it and share it with others. You are psychic, baby – we all are. When you own it and trust it, life becomes a magic show.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Intuition, Life Lessons

The Big Day! I’m Back in Business

April 16, 2012 By 22 Comments

new card via shoplivlane.com

Oh, happy day! I’m re-opening my Etsy shop today – and there’s so much I want to tell you!

When I first opened my Etsy shop in the summer of 2010, I was a ball of nerves. For years, friends and family encouraged me to sell the things I made for them – from magnets to homemade cards – but I felt like there was no way I measured up to the talent possessed by my favorite Etsy artists or even my own brother, who’s an awesome artist. I worried I wasn’t good enough, that no one would buy my stuff, and that I had no business calling myself a real artist. Eventually, I decided I wouldn’t know for sure unless I tried. So, I spent early 2010 growing my creative courage – taking creativity courses, questioning artist friends about their journeys, questioning myself about mine.

new bookmark/magnet via shoplivlane.com

My shop started small, but quickly grew as I experimented with different techniques and products. I was elated! I just kept adding stuff to see what would fly and I was so grateful for the positive response. But over the past several months, the shop started to feel unfocused and so did I. My art was still selling, but filling orders felt more like a chore than a joy. Offering so many different products and needing to pack and ship orders throughout the week actually dimmed my creativity. I knew I needed to make some changes or I’d burn out soon.

I began a little inner investigation, asking myself what elements of my art journey brought me happiness and what brought me down. And the answers guided me to close the shop for a few weeks, to scale back my offerings and focus on the products that feel most meaningful to me {soulful cards, motivational magnets and a couple of other products now in development – squeeeal!}. And I realized organizing, packing and shipping was distracting me from creating – so I hired an assistant. {Holy smokes, right!?} Meet Claire, everyone! She is awesome, a great artist herself, and she brought the first picture she ever colored to our first day of work together. Love, love, love!

So, I hope you’ll visit the new & improved shop today. I hope you feel the new energy over there and find something that makes your heart skip a beat! And I hope you feel inspired to do whatever it is you’re scared to do – because you can’t possibly know what magic is waiting for you on the horizon unless you try.

Shop Notes: You can now easily get to my Etsy shop using the URL ShopLivLane.com. And you can make purchases using PayPal OR your favorite credit card {yay!}.

Filed Under: Art, Etsy

The Little Bliss List: Have You Checked Your Own Backyard For Bliss?

April 13, 2012 By 14 Comments

Every Friday, the Little Bliss List provides a chance for us to celebrate the little things that brought us hope and happiness this week. I do believe when we focus on the sweet stuff of life, the sweet stuff multiplies. And by sharing those small gifts in our lives, we help others notice the gifts in theirs. 

I was sitting outside this week, in my own backyard, thinking about how wherever I am, it’s possible for bliss to show up. I listened to laughing kids and singing birds and squeaking swing sets – and felt bliss wash over me. So happy to have a safe place to raise my kids, so grateful for nature in my midst, so reminded of my own childhood joy. That’s how bliss works, right? It sneaks up on you. Here are some other ways it showed up for me this week…

1) We had a lovely Easter; the boys did awesome at my Nana’s church {thank goodness the Easter Bunny thought to bring Thomas the Train toys!}, we went out for a yummy brunch and spent a laid-back afternoon at my mom’s house. I feel so grateful that my mom, brother and Nana all live nearby.

2) Speaking of Nana, we had a girls’ outing to the spa for lunch and some light pampering. We talked a lot about World War II this time, from losing her brother to planning a shoestring budget wedding before her sweetheart {my grandpa} was deployed overseas. Love, love hearing her stories; hard for me to imagine all she’s seen in her lifetime.

3) I stopped by two fave local shops – The Cottage House and i like you – to restock my cards. Loved chatting with the shop owners and the warm-fuzzy feeling I get from knowing they like my work. Meanwhile, I’ve pushed my Etsy shop re-opening to Monday. Exciting!

4) I’m tickled pink that my post about how we found our new nannyhas struck a chord and been shared so much on Facebook and Twitter {thanks!} – but even more blissed out about this new arrangement working so well. As I was leaving the house yesterday, she and Tru were packing a picnic lunch using one of his Easter baskets. Swoon.

So, how did bliss show up in your own backyard this week? Share your own bliss list in the comment section or via your own blog – and please visit others who post their bliss here! You can participate in the link party below through Sunday at midnight central.

{Wanna share some badge bling? Click here to get yours!} 

Filed Under: Bliss List

How The Power of Intention Got Us a Flippin’ Fantastic Nanny {What Could It Get You?}

April 11, 2012 By 21 Comments

Today was a big day in the Lane household. It was our new nanny’s first day and I’m so happy, I could cry. I thought we’d never  find her – which was exactly the problem.

For three years, we had a wonderful part-time nanny whom the boys adored. Jordan was {and is} like family – but needed to move away to pursue her own dreams. I chose to stay close-to-home for a while, slowing down and relishing extra time with my boys during the holidays. But eventually, I got a case of Restless Soul Syndrome. My boys are such bright lights in my life – but I also know I am healthiest and happiest when I’m also pursuing the other work that lights me up from the inside out. I really, truly believe that when I have the time and resources to focus on those passions, I am a better mama and my kids benefit from seeing me do what I love.

The only problem? These past several months, I have not had the time and resources to give anything my all, often leaving me to feel scatterbrained and stretched too thin. That fed into my sense of desperation and doubt as I looked – unsuccessfully – for a new nanny. Time and time again, things went wrong – from scheduling conflicts to transportation issues to breakdowns in communication. The funny but frustrating stories piled up – like the nanny who informed me her main job is selling sex toys or the one who thought working with kids might help improve her lack of “people skills.” I mean – I want the best for my kids, but I was starting to cave under the pressure, thinking my standards were too high and that I should just settle for someone who was not great but merely good enough.

Then, during a recent discussion with a friend, I realized my biggest problem was me.

When my friend asked me to attend an upcoming event, I said I’d love to – “if I could just find a fucking nanny!” We laughed, but my words hung over the table, daring me to look at them. “Hmm. Maybe I should start by NOT calling her ‘the fucking nanny,’” I said.  I felt like I’d been hit upside the head with one of Oprah’s aha moments.

See, it didn’t matter how hard I worked to find the “right” person; I was sabotaging myself by putting such negative energy into the ether, focusing on all the things I didn’t want vs. the things I did. With all that doubt and desperation, I left no room for the universe to deliver the perfect person to our family. So, I went home and visualized the nanny I really wanted to come into our lives. I imagined how incredible it would feel to find her and I made a list {above} of all the qualities we were looking for. And then I decided to just assume that such a person would be arriving any day. I even agreed to some work commitments for spring and summer, figuring I’d have the perfect childcare in place by then. That attitude shift was such a relief, moving from tension to trust.

I kid you not: our new nanny waltzed into our life THREE DAYS LATER, out of the blue. When she came over to meet the boys last week, I kept thinking about the list of positive traits I’d written – and realized she had them all. I really believe three things brought her to us:

1) I got crystal-clear about the type of nanny we desired AND imagined how amazing it would feel to find her.

2) I wrote it all down, securing a place for my intention not only on paper but in my head and heart. There is something so visceral and powerful about writing and seeing the words before you.

3) I trusted that she existed and was readily available – and began to live my life with that assumption.

I believe that when we are clear and heartfelt in our requests, the universe answers swiftly and kindly – always working in our favor. This was no exception. Within days of me shifting my mindset and clarifying my desires, the perfect nanny appeared – right on time.

Filed Under: Parenting, Power of Intention

Photography as Prayer

April 9, 2012 By 7 Comments

Spring green is sprouting everywhere around my mom’s house, where we spent yesterday afternoon snacking and playing after Easter brunch. I couldn’t help taking my camera out for a spring scavenger hunt, looking for little treasures that were budding, bursting or blooming. And as I did, it struck me how much photography feels like a form of prayer to me.

Through the lens of my camera, every thing matters. I see God in the details: the perfectly spaced veins of a leaf, the aging but still-protective bark of an old tree, the calming blanket of a clear blue sky.

So often, I am kneeling or bending or stretching to get a shot, keenly aware of my limbs and muscles, and laser-focused on how I can reach my subject. When the wind blows, I wait for the leaf or flower or branch I’m wrapped up in to stop swaying, leaning or fluttering. And as I do, I am forced to be still, too.

I revel in joy and surprise, using my camera to show gratitude for the blessings in my midst.

And sometimes I just sit in awe, witness to an obvious miracle. Grateful for the chance to see it. Grateful.

 

Filed Under: Photography, Prayer
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