my most embarrassing, eye-opening moment of the weekend

Okay, this is a little embarrassing. Every year, during the week after Thanksgiving, I rummage through our pile of holiday CDs and choose my favorites to carry with me in the car. And for a good five or six weeks {yep, even into January}, I’m uplifted by Christmas songs everywhere I go.

This year, I did the same thing and brought a pile of CDs into the minivan with me. I hit the “eject” button to release the CD that was in there – and nothing came out. I tried over and over, for several days in a row. Nothing. And no music. Total bummer. I figured I’d have to take the vehicle in to get it fixed at some point – and would just listen to the radio until then.

On Friday, Ryder asked from the backseat why we weren’t listening to Christmas music yet. I told him the CD inside was jammed and wouldn’t come out.

“Are you sure there’s a CD in there?” he asked.

“Yep. It just won’t come out.”

“How do you know?” he asked.

“Because nothing comes out when I push the button.”

I could see his furrowed brow in my rear view mirror. And suddenly, in slow motion, it hit me like a ton of bricks: maybe there wasn’t a CD in there after all. I grabbed the Christmas CD sitting on the passenger seat and placed it at the opening slit of the CD player, which sucked it in and – you guys! – the Christmas tunes started playing. I laughed out loud. Ryder shook his head and rolled his eyes at his crazy mom.

I don’t blame him! I’m rolling my eyes at myself, too! I’m amazed and amused by how quickly I accepted defeat and didn’t even attempt to search for solutions. I drove around for days, accepting my “reality” of a holiday season without holiday music in the car. My own kid had to point out the most simple, obvious option possible – and even then it took a minute to sink in. I was so convinced by the story I’d created, the truth I’d settled on – that the CD player was jammed – that it didn’t even occur to me that it could be totally, utterly…false.

A little embarrassing, yes. But it was a great reminder for me to turn every story I tell on its head. To dig deeper for the truth and be open to changing my own tune. Hallelujah!