Holy crap. That was a doozy of a year, 2011. I made it through the whole damn thing – befuddled, bewildered, besotted by grief. You just kept dropping bombs, one right after the other, and I had nowhere to hide.
I started the year full of vim and vigor, convinced that a year with my favorite number in it {11} was destined to be my best year ever. I wrote here that I’d chosen overjoyed as my word of the year because I was so excited for 2011 and wanted to continually feel “bowled over by my wonderful life.”
Then the shit started hitting the fan – on 1.11.11 no less – with news that my book, two years in the making and scheduled to be released on 10.11.11, had been cancelled. A big fat bomb.
Next came some big challenges for our little family, including some tear-worthy financial woes, some heart-wrenching school struggles for Ryder, and feeling worn out by the amount of intervention our sweet Tru needed for his developmental issues. I remember feeling so fragile last winter, like my heart was under siege.
By spring, my grandma’s health deteriorated and she left us in early May. In August, my radio show got cancelled after nearly five years on the air. And then, as most of you know, my beloved dad got really sick in late September and passed away on October 2nd. I still can’t even believe I’m typing those words.
Brad and I joked about sending out a Christmas card that just said “WTF, 2011?” But as I’ve been reflecting on this past year, I realize that despite so much sadness, I also had so many moments when I truly did feel overjoyed.
I spent beautiful, quality time with my dad – from cheering together at baseball games to sitting by his bedside those final days. I met some of my heroes, like Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer {with my dad at my side, in fact}. I delighted in Tru’s progress. I spoke at wonderful events like this. I adored leading my first ecourse and watching participants spread their wings. I found comfort and joy in my art. I felt wrapped up in a blanket of love – from friends, family and readers like you.
Over the past week, I have heard many people bitterly bidding this rough year good riddance. But to cast it aside without recognizing its gifts feels like a wasted opportunity’ like going to school all year and not showing up for graduation.
So, to 2011 I say thank you for all the hard lessons. For the reminders of what matters, for showing me my own strength, for providing beauty and grace when I needed it most, for delivering just as much magic as misery.
You were the worst year of my life – but probably one of the best, too, given all the lessons and love I received. I’m proud and relieved to say I’m still bowled over by my wonderful life, determined to live happily ever after.
my favorite of all your wonderful posts….ever!!!
I just absolutely love you:)
-Jennifer
Wow Liv,
Even though the "bombs"(one after another) that were dumped on my family were different than yours in 2011, they are the same.
Reading your words made my gut and heart ache. I could relate, I didn't feel as "alone".
Knowing we all survived this crap makes me smile.
Your heartfelt note today was perfect for me..thank you.
I had no idea all this other stuff was going on, alongside losing your dad and your grandma. UGH. Your willingness, ability and strength to find and take in the good and powerful from all of that, and use it to help you embrace a new year of living fully, whatever that means on the next leg of the journey, is truly inspiring. I wish you peace, instead of constant f— opportunities for growth in the new year. Your Christmas not was beautiful. It brought warmth to my heart and tears to my eyes. You are one very special woman Liv.
Love, Terri
Liv, you are such an amazing writer! You express events and feelings in a way that I never could, and I totally connect with you. Here's wishing you a gentler year in 2012.
That was such a brave and beautiful post Liv. You're such a strong and courageous woman. I wish you an abundant, nourishing 2012. xx
Wow, Liv. Thank you for sharing that. You know you don't always have to be strong, so I'm glad you had so much support from friends and family to get through it. What was it about 2011? It was a tough year for us, too, although not as overwhelming as yours. And I am happy to say that my good friend who was laid low by serious breast cancer all year has beat it, it looks like. So maybe 2012 will be better. At least we'll have the Olympics to enthrall us!
Liv,
Thank you for so beautifully and eloquently reminding us to Choose Beauty…amidst the 'entirety' of life. No matter what.
Love,
Me.
You bowl ME over Live, again and again.
WTF 2011 would have been hilarious thought. love you
it was a rough one indeed, but you are a gift and spread light and inspiration…so here to 2012 its all up from here!
xoxox
dani
Right from the heart!! That is what I admire about you. Keep on keepin on; you are a blessing to others.
What a year, eh? I have only recently stumbled upon you and have come to appreciate your way of living in the world with such love, grace, humor and breath taking creativity. Thank you for sharing with us and here's to another amazing year of growth.
What a wonderful outlook on a challenging year. Good for you finding the spots of joy!
You're amazing. Big hugs and love to you and your family.
Thank you for the reminder to look for the good.
You are such a cool chick! I agree with Jennifer, you truly are a poet of
our times.
Thank you for sharing your enlighment, humor and positive energy!
I look forward to the motivation you spark in me. Rock On and Upward!
Your Devoted Reader,
Sue-Z
Littleton, Colorado
Thanks so much, Sue-Z – so sweet of you!
Gosh, I’m just reading this now. You are a brave and inspiring woman. I look forward to seeing what good things 2012 will bring to you.
Stephanie
Ohhh, thank you, Steph. So kind.
Liv,
Your 2011 blog was eloquent and inspiring and touched my heart and soul. Thank You for sharing your truth!
Also, Thank You for sharing all the ‘behind the scenes’ about godaddy. I will be changing from godaddy too!
Your new site is stunning and captivating! Congratulations!
Thanks, Mary – it does my heart good to know you were moved by this post. And cool to hear you’ll be looking into ditching GoDaddy.
Hope 2012 is full of beauty for you!
I just found your blog — this post really got me — 2011 was a bad year for me as well – thank you for giving me perspective. Self pity is such a waste of time!
Dearest Liv,
Having known your marvelous parents and grandparents, Vi and Swede, for so many years, I can see where your extraordinary goodness, faith, wonder and hopefulness come from. Your eloquence in expressing what has happened in your year is quite an inspiration to those of us who seem to focus so often on the little setbacks of life. Please know that you are loved and admired, and that your good thoughts will resonate with me for a very long time. I, who have nothing to complain about, am brought up short by your courage and frankness. God bless you and your wonderful family, Liv. Keep on blogging! Love, Babe, from Chicago
Liv, I am listening to you on FM107 right now. I miss you! From the days when my kids were very small (the oldest will be 25 in a few days!) and we listened to you, Brad, and Donny on Radio Aahs, I have enjoyed listening to you.
2009 was such a year for me. I don’t share that with too many people, but I lost my husband (to infidelity and a divorce), lost my home, my career, and my health.
It sounds so terribly easy to say, but I am FAR happier now than I have ever been. My health is better, I am happily single and dating, and I have a wonderful little town home that I picked out all on my own, and a new career that I am enjoying.
Hang in there, and I am so sorry that your dad passed away so suddenly. I know he was very, very proud of you.