a letter to my 30s: the calm after the storm

Liv Lane in 2004; the difference of a decade

Dear 30s,

This is our last day together. While many friends have fretted lately over leaving you behind, I have felt downright euphoric. Ready for a clean slate, a fresh start. Ready to ditch a decade that frequently felt like an uphill climb.

But the closer I’ve come to this milestone birthday, the clearer I see what a gift you’ve been to me. 

Ten years ago, I wasn’t much in the mood for celebrating. We don’t even have any photos of my 30th birthday; I’d all but disappeared by then. I’d dyed my hair brunette, mastered the almost-believable happy face, and let numbness take over. That felt so much better than panic, so much easier than heartache, more respectable than driving off a bridge. So I stayed there, comfortably numb. Sleepwalking into a new decade. I was on the verge of a breakthrough, though, close to realizing I didn’t have to exist like that forever. Undiagnosed postpartum depression and PTSD had deadened me, and I needed to work my way out.

Looking back, that arduous journey and all the soul-stretching challenges that came after were neither bad luck or punishing blows. The hardships and hurdles were like force-fed doses of truth serum. With every new challenge, I would feel the serum trickling down my throat, through my chest and into my belly – twisting through me like a tornado. As it churned, building steam, it would latch on to my untruths – my fears, my masks, my resentments, my pain – and spit them out like they weighed nothing. It would pepper me with questions about who I was without all that debris, and dare me to find light in the eye of the storm. And when I did, the truth would scoop me up and cradle me, blanketing me in purpose and singing lullabies of possibility.

The tornadoes of my 30s didn’t throw me off course; they carried me to my path. Turns out you gave me the best gift a girl could ask for. 

With gratitude and awe, Liv

can we connect in the next two weeks? (lots to look forward to!)

By having something to look forward to, you bring happiness into your life before the event actually takes place. - Gretchen Rubin #inspiration

You know how awesome it feels when you’ve survived a punishing round of the flu and suddenly, miraculously, you feel like a human being again? That’s how it feels to ease back into regular life, after weeks of visting Nana in hospice, juggling real life and end-of-life, and another week of crazed prep to celebrate her life with beloved family and friends. I’m relishing the normalcy of bedtime stories and play dates, carpools and clean counters. And a return to the work I love, with a rush of goodness to keep me on my toes these next couple of weeks.

I’m hoping you can be part of it in some way! Here’s what’s happening… 

Rachel Awes, Lori Portka, Liv Lane, Carissa Paige - art sale on September 20, 2014ART SALE! In what’s truly a stroke of perfect timing, I’m about to dive into a long weekend with dear artist friends Lori Portka from New York, Rachel Awes from across the river in St. Paul, and Carissa Paige from Florida. I soooo need this! And on Saturday afternoon, we’re hosting an art sale at Rachel’s awesome-blossomg house! Can you come?? All the details are here on Rachel’s web site.

Art of Choosing Beauty ecourse with Liv LaneCHOOSING BEAUTY! I had to postpone my only-time-this-year teaching of The Art of Choosing Beauty: 4 Weeks to Happiness - so the online class is now kicking off this coming Monday, September 22nd. So you still have time to sign up and join us for this powerful class and community next week! And – BIG NEWS – since I’ve had no time to promote this class and just want as many bright lights as possible to benefit from it, I’m extending the early bird pricing (a 40% savings!!) to EVERYONE. Bam! Beautiful! (Details here!)

Community Resilience InstituteTHRIVING CONFERENCE! Next Thursday and Friday (Sept 25-26), I’ll be at Cornell College in Iowa to speak and lead a half-day workshop at the Thriving Communities, Thriving Lives national conference, inspiring educators and community leaders to experience the power of igniting their innate sparks (the passions, talents and gifts that light them up from the inside out) – and helping youth do the same. Register here.

Presence Summit at Minnesota Arboretum - Oct 5, 2014PRESENCE : SUMMIT! On October 5th, I’m excited to speak at a new event in Minneapolis called Presence : Summit, designed to “open your eyes to a new level of Living!” There are only TWO DAYS left to buy tickets, and guess what?? I have a special code to get you in for $50 off. Woot! Get full details here and when you purchase your ticket (by Sept 19!), enter the code liv914 (it is case sensitive) and please come say hi!

And then, friends, comes the biggest event of all. I turn the big 4-0. I told you my calendar’s packed with gobs of goodness! Hope you can be part of it in some way. xo